The four fine fellows from Schatzi play youthful, punchy, three-minute, power-chord laced, firecracker guitar pop. Though they aren't reinventing the wheel, their sweet, tangled mess of guitar fuzz and heart-on-sleeve vocals is both compelling and undeniably appropriate coming from a band who's name means "sweetheart" in German. Bursting with adolescent energy, but also showing a polished finish that hints at their serious musicianship and composition, these Texan's newest record, 50 Reasons To Explode, may just push them leaps and bounds past most bands of the nebulous emo variety.

Bettawreckonize caught up with the boys in their home-away-from-home, a tour van where they've spent the last nine months traveling the country in support of their Death of The Alphabet E.P. and the recently-released 50 Reasons To Explode. Below are the results of our humorous encounter.

Interview conducted in person by Tim Anderl. Pictures by Tim and Anne Anderl and Clark.

Names: Chris (guitar, vocals), Mark Ford(drums), Kliph Scurlock (roadie)
Band: Schatzi

Tim: Who is in the band and what instrument do they play? Give everyone props, including the superstar roadies that are on tour with you guys…

Chris: I almost passed this interview off to Cliff and said, "Cliff I don't feel like doing this interview. Do you want to take it?" Cliff is the most important member of the band. He is our roadie, merch guy and fill-in drummer if this guy has a skating accident. Cliff Sure-cock we call him.
M: He has many names actually.
C: I'm Chris, I play the guitar and sing. This is Mark number one or AM as we call him. Mark PM is the bass player because his name is Mark Fort. This guy is Mark Ford. You can see the connection there and why we have to have nicknames for them. Monty is the spiky-haired guy who plays guitar and sings too.

T: How long have you guys been friends or playing together? What is the story of Schatzi?

M: Chris was actually there when my mother gave birth to me. He was like four….no, I'm just kidding. That isn't true, actually….
C: I've been playing with Monty for about a decade in this band and some other bands. Mark PM, the bass player, has been playing with us off and on for the last four years. I've known him for about seven years altogether. He played in other bands that we used to play with a lot. This guy is the most recent addition to the band. We should have met like maybe in 1991. When did you live in Norman?
M: From around 91 to 93.
C: Three of us are from Oklahoma and this guy lived there around the same time, but we never hooked up. I met him about two years ago. He is the new kid and has been with us for about a year now.

T: How long has Schatzi been together then?

C: We've been together since 1996. Monty and I have been here since the start and we've done the Spinal Tap drummer thing….
M: They had this one drummer that played with them for a pretty long time, and then they had a bunch of fill in dudes. And, then they had me….

T: So, where is your home base right now?

C: Austin, Texas.
M: You are sitting in our home base right now (referring to the van).
C: This is legally a country right now in this van. We don't have to worry about drug laws or anything like that.

T: So you have the special tags that say you are an "Ambassador of Rock"?

C: We actually don't have traditional license plates because then we'd be admitting that we are submitting to the government. There was actually this group in Texas called the Republic of Texas who was declaring their own country in the hills so they didn't have license plates.
M: They actually sell stickers in Texas that say, "Texas Secede."
C: I'm totally down with anarchy or at least as little government as possible….
M: And, he can also pull your chain all day long and have you believe every word of it.
C: So, these guys decided that they weren't going to have license plates, but that they were going to drive around anyway. That is pretty much the end of the story.

T: Were they like a cult or something?

C: They were probably hardcore Christian fundamentalists, but basically they said that Texas was not properly annexed. They were denying that any United States government rules applied to them. But, they are all in jail so….But, I support them if they ever get out.

T: So, is it true when they say, "Don't mess with Texas."? Are you guys a bunch of tough guys who go around to different cities and beat people up and steal their lunch money?

M: Of course. But, we still laugh when Oklahoma kicks UT's ass in football. That is always great.
C: We can say that now that we are in Ohio. I hope it doesn't make its way back to Texas though or we'll get beat down.
M: Yeah, you can't fuck with UT in Austin. Here is Surecock himself.
S: Hey, I'm Surecock. I sure am a cock. Man that sound guy sucks. Speaking of sure, I'm sure that guy is terrible.
M: I'm sure it took him 20 minutes to get that kickdrum in the mix.
S: Dude, there is no kickdrum in the mix….
(Sound guy talk goes on for a while. And then he turns on me….)
Hey, I get to OK these questions before you ask them. That one, no, no, no….OK, you can ask the last one, but anything else you've asked you will have to go back and erase off the tape.
C: He's kidding of course.

T: Do you have a sister?

S: Was that you?

T: So you do have a sister?

S: A stepsister.

T: If one of the guys in Schatzi were to go on a blind date with your sister. Who from the band would you be hesitant about dating her and who would you let take your sister out?

S: I would be hesitant for all of them to take out my sister because she's no fun to be around.

T: Let's assume that your sister is cool and hot?

S: She's hot?
M: Then he'd be hooking up….
S: Exactly, "I know you are blood, but you are just so fine!"

T: I have another one, if Schatzi were to be in an ultimate fighting championship with any other band of any other genre who would it be and why?

M: Creed. Because I despise them more than any other band on the planet.

T: Who would win?

M: We would. I would beat all those guys down.
C: Scott Stapp is already injured, he hurt his finger in that car wreck. But, I read in NME that he is holding up well. He jammed his finger and they had to pop it back into place.
S: They are going to get a lot of material for their next record out of this though (In best Scott Stapp impression) "Oh God thanks for saving my finger. It could've been broke, I won't let those bad feelings linger."
M: Yeah, I would take on all of those guys and these guys could just chill and watch and laugh.
(Some discussion of the VH-1 Creed: Behind The Music ensues)

T: We are going to get into some serious shit here right now….The latest record and EP were done by Ed Rose?

C: Half of the Death of the Alphabet EP was done by Ed Rose, and the other half was done at a community college and on my eight-track at the house. All of the real songs were done by Ed Rose, and all the shitty ones I did. The bonus tracks, the really crappy ones, those are the ones that I engineered.

T: What made you choose him for the record?

C: When I met Kliph (Surecock) he told me that we should definitely not go to him, so I called him up the next day.
S: I have been friends with Ed for a long time. This old band I was in were his first paying customers. Ed and I are like this (crosses fingers, points to top finger). That's me on top.
C: Kliph is from Lawrence where Ed and Red House are at.
S: I can answer that question about Adrianne too. We are like this (does the finger thing again). That's me on top.

T: Isn't she one of the Get Up Kids' baby's mamas though?

S: She's in that band The Anniversary and is married to Robbie, the bass player, but they don't have kids yet….
M: I got to watch her get her first tattoo in Austin. My friend Bobby who did my tattoos did hers.

T: What did she get?

M: It is on her back. I think it was something about your mom, but I'm not positive.
C: We are friends with all the Kansas kids that have recorded with him, it was kind of close to Texas, it fit the budget, we liked everything that he had done, and it seemed like the right thing to do?

T: How did Adrianne get a cameo? Did you know her from playing with The Anniversary?

C: Yeah, we had done a couple of shows with her band so we knew her. She happened to be in town and we need some keyboards on a song, but none of us can really play, so Ed called her up and she came down and played keyboards. She wasn't really going to sing anything, but Monty was really sick and was coughing up nasty stuff. He tried to do the part on "Death of the Alphabet," the part that she ended up singing, but everytime he'd try to sing it, he was coughing something up and it sounded really bad. So, she was sent in, she busted out the part in like ten minutes, and it sounds really good. Better than it would have.

T: Does she play keyboards on the whole album then?

C: Just on "Gladys" and vocals on "Death of the Alphabet." The other stuff was done by me. Ed Rose does percussion. We tried to do some tambourine parts and he'd say, "You are close, but you're way off. Get the fuck out of there and let me do it."
M: He's hardcore man. He keeps on you until you want to kill yourself and him at the same time, but once you get it right he says, "Alright, you're out of there." When he says that, you know you've pulled it off and you're done with that part of the song. Other times he says, "How did you feel about that?" Which means, "I think it sucked. Why don't you do it again."

T: Do you think that any of the following relationships applied to you working with Ed Rose: Richie Cunningham to The Fonze, Danielson to Mr. Miagi, or Luke Skywaker to Yoda?

M: He's part each in a way. He's part Yoda for sure….
C: And his hair looks like the Fonze…
M: He's a little of each of those. He taught me how to wax on and wax off.
C: How did the band get hooked up with Mammoth and how are the changes that are going down there going to affect Schatzi and what you guys are doing?
C: We played at South by Southwest in 2000 and they came down and saw us. After a few months of talking with them it just worked out that they liked us and they picked us out. It worked out great up until the point where they dissolved. Two or three people are at Hollywood now, Hollywood and Mammoth are both owned by Mickey Mouse, so they just scooted us over to Hollywood. Things are still weird and we are meeting new people at the label everyday, but our A and R guy is the president of Mammoth, so we still have some cool people that we really like who are working there. I'm sure they are all really nice, we just haven't met them all.

T: Do you have plans to do more albums with them? Are you committed to them for anything?

C: As far as the legal stuff, it is all exactly the same. We all have to do what the contract says. We have one more record to do that will probably say Mammoth on it. So, as far as I know, we are doing another record with them. If not, we'll just do the same thing we did with this record. It was recorded and mixed before we met Mammoth. It was exactly how you hear it. We are pretty confident that things will work out well with Mammoth/Hollywood.

T: Do you guys have plans to do a video?

C: We've been taking about it for several months, but no one can really agree on what cheap budget concept to do. We aren't going to spend a lot of money on it. It will be lo-fi….or low-budget.
M: A lot of the treatments we've gotten so far were done by guys who think we want to be MTV-ready….
C: It won't be like video was for Duran Duran. It will just be something to play on cable access shows and maybe, if we are lucky, on M2. We aren't going to be on MTV….unless we sell another million. We are almost up to our first million now.
M: Yeah right….

T: How long have you guys been out supporting 50 Reasons to Explode?

M: We've been out for the EP since September 2001 with maybe a month at home. We've made a ton of friends on the east coast and we just finished the west coast and it was cool too. We've done middle American a bunch and the response has been really positive.

T: Have you toured with any bands who ended up being your soulmates?

C: I don't know about soulmates….We just got done touring with Shiner and while they were our heroes before, now they are actually friends. We still worship them, but can actually talk to them without trembling now. Ultimate Fakebook are really good friends who we are headed to meet up with tomorrow. That is going to be insane.
M: Those guys drink more beer than Mr. Anheiseur. We have yet to put them under the table.

T: Even combined, four against three?

M: No. The bass player Nick Colby drinks 30 packs at once.
C: He will just punch holes in the side and start sucking them down.
M: The last time they came to Austin we drank water all night at the show. We had a keg back at my house. Monty saw me drinking a beer, got mad and yanked it out of my hand. He said, "Save yourself for later. What are you doing? You know Fakebook is coming over." At 7:00 the next morning when I was crawling to my bed, Nick was all, "C'mon Mark. What's wrong? Lets hang out man." We are really pretty chummy with Cadillac Blindside too. Pop Unknown is another Austin band.
C: Pop Unknown is definitely one of the gayest bands in emo rock.
M: One of their members turns it on at night.
C: They all have girlfriends and wives at home, but after 7:00 on the road they flip the script. Do you know what I'm saying? We will leave it at that.

T: Have you ever met anyone famous at one of your shows in New York or LA?

C: We almost met Kelly Osbourne in LA. I was going to try to get a picture with her, but she was with her friends and I didn't want to bug her.
M: We've all met famous people on our own, but I can't think of any who have just showed up where we were playing.
C: We don't have the super models calling just yet. We are going to New York though and they are probably going to be ten or fifteen that we'll let backstage.

T: What are your plans for the next six months then? Is it another six in the van?

C: We will be right here in our "van house."

T: Any plans to go to Europe or overseas?

C: We are desperately trying to get over there. We really, really want to go.
M: There is a possibility that we'll head over there with Pop Unkown.
C: We will go with anyone, but it would be great to go with someone who's been before so they know the ropes. I don't know where all the brothels are. I mean, I guess they are pretty easy to find, but I don't want to spend all day looking for them. Plus we need a lot of coke on the road to keep going and I think you need a connection to get that overseas.